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on vacation

to be continued


to wait, one of the best scene ever ... friends season 9 episode 15 The One With The Mugging

[Scene: Audition room, Joey is lead into the room by a receptionist in a fancy dress]

Receptionist: This is Joey Tribbiani. Joey, these are the producers and, as you probably already know, this is Lennart Haze.

(Lennart Haze turns around in his chair to face Joey)

Joey: It is so amazing to meet you. (They are shaking hands) I’m such a big fan of your work.

Lennart: Well, I’ve… I’ve been blessed with a… a lot of great roles.

Joey: Tell me about it! “Unlimited nights and weekends!”

Lennart: You making fun of me? Because I am not a sell-out. (He stands up and walks menacingly towards Joey) I didn’t do that for the money, I believe in those phones. I almost lost a cousin because of bad wireless service.

Joey: No, I-I-I wasn’t making fun of you, honestly, I-I think you were great in those commercials.

Lennart: Really?

Joey: Yeah.

Lennart: Well, I do bring a certain credibility to the role.

Joey: (regaining confidence) Are you kiddin’? When they shoot you out of that cannon…

Lennart: Peeeeeooooooooch (He mimes flying out of the cannon) “Hang up that phone!” One take!

Joey: Wow!

Lennart: So, shall we read?

Joey: Oh, yah, sure.

Lennart: Top of act two. This is my entrance. You got it?

(Joey nods whereupon Lennart acts as if he is entering a room)

Lennart: “What the hell are you still doing here”?

(Joey stares at him, fascinated by his performance)

Joey: Err, “I think you know”.

Lennart: “Bastard”!

Joey: “I am what you made me. You know what? I could go right now.”

Lennart: “Go, go!”

Joey: “I can’t. Oh, I want to, long pause, but I can’t.”

Lennart: I’m sorry, sorry. You’re not supposed to say “long pause”

Joey: (understandingly) Oh, oh, I thought that was your character’s name, you know, I thought you were like an Indian or something, you know with a… (He mimes wearing a feather on his head)

Lennart: No. Thank you so much for coming in. We appreciate it, thank you.

Joey: Ah, y-y-you’re sure you don’t want me to do it again? I could do it with an accent, you know, Southern (He speaks in what he believes is a Southern accent) “I could go right now, maaan!”

Lennart: (stunned, muttering) My god in heaven.

(The producers stand up)

Producer #1: Joey, hang on for a second. Lennart, can we talk to you for a moment?

(They stand aside, talking)

Lennart: You, you gotta be kidding. See, h-he, he can’t act. (Joey hears that and his disappointment is reflected in his facial expression).

(Producer #1 whispers something)

Lennart: Hey! I-I-I don’t care if he’s hot, you know. If you want to sleep with him, do it on your own time. (Joey smiles smugly at this) This is a play. No, listen: if you insist on this, I will call my agent so fast on a cell phone that has a connection that is so clear he’s gonna think I’m next door.

(Joey approaches them)

Joey: (interrupting their conversation) Ah, hi, ah. Thank you so much for whispering for my benefit, but, ah, look, if you just tell me what I did wrong, I’d just love to work on it and come back and try it again for you. And, and also: (to Producer #1) ‘How you doing?’ (to Lennart again) You should, please, just gimme another chance. I really wanna get better, please.

Lennart: Well, if you wanna come back at the end of the day today, here are my notes. Ready?

Joey: Yeah.

Lennart: Uhm, you’re in your head. You-you’re thinking way too much.

Joey: I really doubt that.

Lennart: (explaining to Joey, who nods fervently) No, no, no. It’s that you’re not connected with anything in your body. There’s no urgency. The scene is a struggle, uhm, it’s a race. Also, what you did was horizontal. Don’t be afraid to explore the vertical. And don’t learn the words. Let the words learn you.

(Joey ponders on this for a while)

Joey: (suggesting) Couldn’t I just sleep with the producer?


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